Once upon a time, your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops