How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down +191

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

It’s dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down -55

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -165

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops