Barack Obama.

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

Once upon a time, your face.

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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