What's white and sticky? Glue.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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What do you call a black guy in college? A student.

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops