Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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