Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

Poop

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

Barack Obama.

What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

yeah..

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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