So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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