What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

Once upon a time, your face.

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

Barack Obama.

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

What's white and sticky? Glue.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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