what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -166

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops