A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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