What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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