So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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agp

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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9/11

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lol

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops