How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

thumb_up thumb_down +166

i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Racial Equality.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops