Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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lol

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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agp

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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