What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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