Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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