Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

wat?

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

Hello penis

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

I'm so hungry I could eat food

national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

who drinks pee? katness

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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