Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +15

" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

thumb_up thumb_down +170

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops