Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Hello penis

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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