A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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9/11

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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