I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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