Once upon a time, your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops