I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Poop

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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9/11

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lol

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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What do you call a black guy in college? A student.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Barack Obama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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