*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Hello penis

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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