national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

thumb_up thumb_down -37

ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

thumb_up thumb_down -65

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -153

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

thumb_up thumb_down +166

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

thumb_up thumb_down -60

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -160

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops