what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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knock knock whos there not me

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hi

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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