Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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69

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Hi

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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