Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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hi

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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