Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -17

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

thumb_up thumb_down -67

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -71

What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

thumb_up thumb_down +168

agp

thumb_up thumb_down +102

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +60

roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a man died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

thumb_up thumb_down

How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops