Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +85

a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Im ashamed of being from Canada

thumb_up thumb_down -169

why did the man die? because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops