Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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9/11

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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