A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Barack Obama.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops