A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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yeah..

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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