Im ashamed of being from Canada

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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agp

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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