A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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