When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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lol

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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