Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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Jews.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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