Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Women's rights.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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