April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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hi

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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69

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops