Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

Jews.

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

hi

Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

2 women were sitting quietly.

What's white and sticky? Glue.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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