What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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