When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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agp

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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