Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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