Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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hi

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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