Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Jews.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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a man died

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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9/11

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops