I'm so hungry I could eat food

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

Once upon a time, your face.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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