How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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yeah..

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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