What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Im ashamed of being from Canada

thumb_up thumb_down -160

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops