What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops