why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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hi

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Poop

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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Jews.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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