What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yeah..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops