What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

Hi

People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

Women's rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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