Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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lol

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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69

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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