two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

thumb_up thumb_down +168

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Once upon a time, your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black guy in college? A student.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops