if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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who drinks pee? katness

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops