Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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9/11

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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agp

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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