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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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