Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Poop

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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