What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

9/11

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

why did the man die? because he died.

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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