Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops