Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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lol

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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