Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Poop

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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agp

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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