What's white and sticky? Glue.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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