Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -21

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops