A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Hi

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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