Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Jews.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops