What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -60

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -76

What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -160

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops