So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Hello penis

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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