What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

thumb_up thumb_down -60

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +55

a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what do you call a man in a hole Fill

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

wat?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

agp

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops