What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

Women's rights.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...