What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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What do you call a black guy in college? A student.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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