How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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wnba

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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