a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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Hi my name is Jim

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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black people

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Q: You know what's better and funnier than reading all these jokes A: GLEE and thats like singing and dancing :p JK it HAPPy tree friends LOOK IT UPPP!!!

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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