how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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