roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

Waseem is not a funny guy!

What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

12

Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

What's another word for a priest? Rapist

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

get on your knees and make a donut face:)

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...