Heartlight

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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Penis-Pump

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How did th-A fridge.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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