One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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haha, you're an orphan

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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marshal sterio had sex

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I'm banging your sister.

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12

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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