I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

Republicans

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

whats brown and smells like shit shit

Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

The penn state football administration

What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

The weels on the bus go...flat

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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