whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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Video Games

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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hi

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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