Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Stop being a centipede

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops