roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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mc hammers income.

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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Take my wife- to the store.

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Your time.

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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sarah taylor

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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