The weels on the bus go...flat

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

Why did the Black Man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

A blonde walked into a phone pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...