Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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