Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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Hey

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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A black man didn't walk into a bar

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops