hello

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

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Children playing GTA......... what a world of rapists

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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i'm not gay

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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Ask me if I am a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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