How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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NASCAR

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What did the blind and deaf woman get for her birthday? Raped.

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I enjoy owboy butt sex with big black men please call me at 9528579236

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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Wheelchair high jump

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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