What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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Welcome To Facebook

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops