Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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24!

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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