Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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I like to eat people

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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Here is a joke for you: minecraft -blarg

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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