According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Where's my tractor?

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops