Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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YOLO

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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