Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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A boy was constantly getting bullyed at school... so he went home

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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a man walks into horse bar

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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i love huge wieners.

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SURFIN' BIRD (Frazier - White - Harris - Wilson) THE TRASHMEN (GARRETT 4002, 1963) A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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