Alex Eggbert

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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hi

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5

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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A Japanese man walks into a bar, it collapses and then is demolished by a tsunami.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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a

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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