Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

Justin bieber is a loser! One Direction all the way baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<3

What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

Christians pornstars.

What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

Why do the cangaroos are weird? cause they have testicles in front and penis back, is real!

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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