How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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How many cows say moo? All of them

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I like to eat people

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Women's Rights.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Civil Rights.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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9/11/2001

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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