wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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Hey Nerochan, how high is your IQ?

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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