Ms. Smoot's class

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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My butt!!!!

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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Potato.

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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A blind man walks into a bar

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Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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