A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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Take my wife- to the store.

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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2 women were sitting quietly

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Thanks

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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a black guy walks into a fast food place.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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