What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Dancing Potatoe!

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What do you call a toddler with a gun? Interesting

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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