Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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um...... What's worse than 15 babies stapled to trees? sixteen babies staples to trees PS: I will stop posting if 3 people don't like this by tommarow.

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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