Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops