A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

peter charastabopouloulous

What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

I like to eat people

Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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