What's better than sex? Nothing

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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Do you know what they say? Words

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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Sorry boss

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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