Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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One day, on a train. 30 white, violently, racist people where crowding a black man minding his own business. An asian person walked through and was kicked, stabbed and stomped on until he died.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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