Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Sorry boss

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Women's Rights.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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