Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Take my wife- to the store.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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no

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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Are you a human?

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I know a black girl named beyonca.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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