Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Take my wife- to the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops