What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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