knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo momma so fat that she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops