Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

No it isn't.

What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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