Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

what was hitlers rap album called? straight outta mein kampfton

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

( o Y o )

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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