aggie wilkinson, i WOULD!!!!!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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Knock,Knock Whos there ? Hola Holo who ? Holocaust Hahahaha

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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W.N.B.A.

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Why did the dodo cross the road Dodos are extinct so therefor they are unable to

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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Dubstep < Music

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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