Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms Why did the boy drop his ice cream Because he was hit by a truck. and geuss who was driving the truck? The girl with no arms

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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Sorry boss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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