Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I had sex. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

¿melano?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The weels on the bus go...flat

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hi my name is Jim

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops