Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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Justin bieber is a loser! One Direction all the way baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<3

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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haha, you're an orphan

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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