what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

this sentence will not monkey banana pie

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

haha, you're an orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +45

knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

marshal sterio had sex

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops