What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, one swipe, maestrostalfos, imdesiringyourhair, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAAAAAAAAAA know what i mean, paul are you ok?

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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I saw a shovel once.

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what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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What's wrong with woman Everything

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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