roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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Why did the baby die? I killed it.

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69

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Betty Whites ALIVE?

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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