hello

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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Reed is poopin

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the Canadian wife is very disappointed in her night.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

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What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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God bless America, and no where else.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: why the long face? he has cancer

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops