what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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