Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to the little kid who went surfing? Answer: he gOt eaten by a shark

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Video Games

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-When is a door not a door? -Never

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops