Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jared Gough is a slut

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Video Games

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you fall off a building? you trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops