Do you know what they say? Words

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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marshal sterio had sex

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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