If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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A snake walks into a bar

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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Your so stupid, that your stupid.

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops