Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

wnba

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A child with cancer grows up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

thumb_up thumb_down +20

22

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

the

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops