what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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Mitt Romney.

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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Woman's rights

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

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What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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