- Anti Joke

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

Knock knock Come In.......

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.