What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

Video Games

Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

Alex Eggbert

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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