Alex Eggbert

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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wanna hear a joke: women's rights

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hi

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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WNBA

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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Hi my name is Jim

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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a

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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