why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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7

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops