whats brown? poop.

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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Hey Nerochan, how high is your IQ?

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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