guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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