I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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What do a white dog and a black dog have in common? They're both white...except for the black one

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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Good boy

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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i'm not gay

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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