Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +29

AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops