Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Take my wife- to the store.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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no

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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