A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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Whats worse than finding a black man in your bed? After you sleep with him, he tells you he has AIDS.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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