Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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What did the blind and deaf woman get for her birthday? Raped.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he obviously had to attend to his planned schedule which involved a meeting which was to take place on the opposite side of the road.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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hi. thats what she said.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops