What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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Knock knock. Death.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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hi

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops