Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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Knock knock. Death.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Why? Because!

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DOWN

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops