Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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Hippopatomous!

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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A Japanese man walks into a bar, it collapses and then is demolished by a tsunami.

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Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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black people

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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