Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

24!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what colour is a frog green you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A genie came out of a lamp explain?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops