Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wats a joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops