Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Watch this summer, as General Jack Ryu, attempts to fight his way across the jungle only known as "The streets" as he seeks to save Mary.Bison from the evil clutches of Master Jamie Ken in this epic written trailer! Jack Ryu: So we are brothers? Jamie Ken: No, I am your failed clone! I spontaneously begin burning from me feet and hands! WHHHHHHYYYY WAS I NOT THE CHOOOOOSEN ONE!!!!!! Mary B: Ryu... He is the fifth! THE FIFTH HAS ARRIVED! Jim "Dan" Daniels: Yes certainly, it is well within my scientific genius to create the fifth, yet my former associate Bob Sagat lost an eye in an explosion... CAN JACK RYU SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE MOST DEVASTATING BOMB IN THE UNIVERSE: THE AKUMA BEFORE JAMIE KEN UNLEASHES IT? CAN JACK RYU... FIGHT TROUGH THE STREETS... AND LIVE UP TO THE FIFTH AND SAVE MARY BISON? ALL DEPENDS IF HE CAN CONTROL HIS INNER CHUN LI! STREET FIGHTER V: rEVOLUTION

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

24!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what colour is a frog green you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops