Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

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Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

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What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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What was everyone doing in the library? Reading

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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hi to the world fromthe world

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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NASCAR

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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Charlie morgans a pussy EDEN HAZARDS A TANK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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