roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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why am i on this site? cause its funny

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

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Are you a human?

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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