Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

A baby seal walks into a club...

Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

knock, knock. come in.

What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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