Whats 9 + 10? 19

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7

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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A child with cancer grows up.

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knock knock. who's there? ya ya who? dot com

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hey

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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