How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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The penn state football administration

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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Whats worse than finding bubba in your house? Getting raped by a rabid racoon..

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What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangeroo??? ... A sheep cannot be crossed with a kangaroo because the genes from sheep cannot work with genes from a kangaroo to produce hybrid sheegaroos or kangareeps.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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