if life gives you lemons...chuck them back and say i wanted muffins instead!!!!

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

Garry Glitters on here

2 women were sitting quietly

Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

guess what chicken butt

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

Why wasn't the boy at his basketball game? - Because he, his twin brother, and pregnant mother all died in a fatal car accident involving a train on the way their.

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

general tso's broccoli

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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