What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

what did the black man say to the white man? hi

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

7

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

What's after 9/11? 9/12

Romney 2012

Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...