Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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The Irish man was sober.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Penis.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Potato.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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