What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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guess what chicken butt

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JEWS

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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