What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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24!

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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The Irish man was sober.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Potato.

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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the cast of the jersey shore

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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