Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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your a towel.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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Civil Rights.

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What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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No it isn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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