Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Romney 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +24

One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops