Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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what did the white man say to the black man with the gun? Nothing he was dead

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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Do you know what they say? Words

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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