Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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Hashtag

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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