What time did the tennis start? Tennish

Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

why is the asian still in the driveway? her car broke down

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

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hi. thats what she said.

Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

a man walked into a bar "ouch"

Which one is hardest?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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