What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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I have a crush on my dad.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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No it isn't.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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9/11/2001

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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