What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock, Knock. I have no door.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

thumb_up thumb_down +55

what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +55

a man walked into a bar "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops