What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

No it isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Civil Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops