What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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