What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops