Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Hey

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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Farts smell bad!

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Knock Knock Come in

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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