Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's better than sex? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -118

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +61

a man walked into a bar "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

knock knock whos there? how should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A blind man walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Women's sports

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops