How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Women's rights...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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You just won the game...

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Sam alexander is also r8 g4y

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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¿melano?

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops