"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

minecraft

why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

what do you call a black man named mike

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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