Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

Potato

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

Garry Glitters on here

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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