What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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Thanks

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Republicans

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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