Matty B

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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The penn state football administration

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Facebook...

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Take my wife- to the store.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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