A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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Women

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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Woman's rights

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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kiss me?

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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#scabbers

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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5

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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