A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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Nobody cares.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Penis.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops