What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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Men's rights.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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