Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Do you want to hear an anti joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops