What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Women.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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Obama

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops