If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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Knock Knock Come in

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops