knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

thumb_up thumb_down +16

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Dear Board of education, so are we.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funnier than poop? More poop

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

ugh good riddance

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops