wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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