a man walks into a bar it hurt

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asparagus

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

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Girls Basketball.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

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A: Knock! Knock! B: Who's there? A: Kitchen B: Kitchen who? A: GET THERE!

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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