Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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marshal sterio had sex

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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