What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

A boy was constantly getting bullyed at school... so he went home

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

What's after 9/11? 9/12

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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