A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

why is the asian still in the driveway? her car broke down

What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 6 cheated on 7 with 9.. 6 is now a victim of domestic violence.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

What sounds really bad? An accordion.

wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

hi. thats what she said.

Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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