what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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The Irish man was sober.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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