A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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Woman's rights

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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kiss me?

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how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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#scabbers

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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asparagus

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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