Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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