Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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I like to eat people

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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