What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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I know a black girl named beyonca.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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