A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

http://anti-joke.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you kill a black guy With a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops