Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

Agricultural production fell significantly.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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