what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +57

what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +55

I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +47

haha, you're an orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops