A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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no

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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What's 9+10=? 19

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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