A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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I like to eat people

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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