What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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your a towel.

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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Civil Rights.

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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Where's my shotgun

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A friend asks his buddy, "Hey, what's your favorite color?" Buddy slowly turns his head and stares intensely at the only black person in the room and says," "White." Buddy has never been called racist.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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What's worse than eating a piece of elephant shit? Eating two pieces of elephant shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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