A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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What was everyone doing in the library? Reading

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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