A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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¿melano?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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