Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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A blind man walks into a bar

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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What's dead? Your mum.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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Why does Logan Cole beat off to Yo Gabba Gabba! ? Because Tim Tebow.

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A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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get on your knees and make a donut face:)

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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