what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

-When is a door not a door? -Never

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

What is next?

whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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