What did the clock say? The time.

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

your a towel.

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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