When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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