-When is a door not a door? -Never

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um...... What's worse than 15 babies stapled to trees? sixteen babies staples to trees PS: I will stop posting if 3 people don't like this by tommarow.

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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What is next?

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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