Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

Women's Rights.

What's a small person? A midget

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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