Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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