How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

George Bush.

my mom raped yerr foot

What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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