Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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12

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Where's my tractor?

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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