What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

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Here is a joke for you: minecraft -blarg

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

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hi

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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