A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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A child with cancer grows up.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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69

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Why did the baby die? I killed it.

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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