Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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Black Veil Brides.

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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