What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -1

if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops