OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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What's dead? Your mum.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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7

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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i love huge wieners.

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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a man walks into horse bar

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops