what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Susie has Autism

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where's my shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops