1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? A naked chinese man jumping out of your trunk to beat you with a crowbar.

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What did the man bring home from Africa? AIDS.

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look left ------------------------------------------------------> i bet you failed.

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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