What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

thumb_up thumb_down

whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

thumb_up thumb_down

'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

thumb_up thumb_down

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you eat when you watch porn? Corn

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops