What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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Why wasn't the woman cooking in the kitchen? Both her hands had been cut off in a severe conveyor belt accident.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

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NASCAR

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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What happens when a PC gamer without a mic rages? ASDKFHQIUEWHASKZNF9324Y8PTWFSDIUHASDFADSFUFKASJDF843QADKJVNCXT%$W(ESDHDSFAAASDFASKLDFU8EWADSdsfalsdkjfhuewanzxcAJSKDFUIEW

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Q. What happened when a mouse ran up the clock and it struck 12? A. It fell off and got raped by an 80 year old Asian lady with breast cancer

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whats water and frozen? an ice cube

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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