How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

poop

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

Why wasn't the woman cooking in the kitchen? Both her hands had been cut off in a severe conveyor belt accident.

the real mccoy

Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: why the long face? he has cancer

What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

hey bill!

you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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