- Anti Joke

A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

-1

What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

-1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Kah-________-

Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

roses are red violets are blue i hate black people

what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??