Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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hey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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