A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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How did the boy fly? he had wings.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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What is the difference between a duck?

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Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops