What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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