What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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women's rights

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

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I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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Why is the sky blue? Well it has something to do with The suns reflection off of all the waters on earth's surface.

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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haha, you're an orphan

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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