What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Womens' rights.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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