Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

Hi.

Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

Hello

What's up? The sky.

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...