What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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Why did the Black Man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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A blonde walked into a phone pole.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: why the long face? he has cancer

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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hey bill!

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whats blue and fluffy? your mothers chest hair!

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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