How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Do is the Most Famous Line on youtube Answer- Do the Flop

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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