Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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minecraft

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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42

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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Matty B

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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