What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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'Knock' 'Knock' Who's there? Open the door and you will find out douche.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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A man walks into an anti Joke.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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