A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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'Knock' 'Knock' Who's there? Open the door and you will find out douche.

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Knock knock! "Who's there?" "It's me, xx" "Okay, come in."

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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Why did the black guy fail his math test? Because he did not study enough and as a result was no prepared to take a test on that material.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink The bartenders says no, because she is a woman, and he is a sexist Women are still not equally treated in this world

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man walks into an anti Joke.

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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