What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock Knock, Who's There The Chicken

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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German sausage is the wurst

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops