What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

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There was was 14 apples in a tree. And that's it.

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A man walks into an anti Joke.

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A gay dyslexic black man walks in to a bar the bar tender say "what'll it be" and then he orders his drink and pays his bill and leaves.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink The bartenders says no, because she is a woman, and he is a sexist Women are still not equally treated in this world

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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