A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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69

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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Boobs are nasty!

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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minorities.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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A black goes to college

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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