Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +53

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +47

knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Bin Laden is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops