Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

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austins gay lolololol

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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you will die someday

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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