why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Hummer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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