A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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cms.......?????

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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