Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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Bin Laden is dead.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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