What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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Tacos

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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