I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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So dont touch it

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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KIMBERLEY HONEY

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

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Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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