An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My Girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +4

guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops