2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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WTF BOOOOOM

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Sarah Palin is President

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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223

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A black goes to college

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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