SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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