Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Tim's gay.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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