- Anti Joke

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

ROSS G IS OBESE

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

Chuck Norris died.

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

why did the chicken cross the road Why not

A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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