Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

Freddie Mercurys teeth

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

Hey what time is it. 3:15

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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