Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +9

96

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Star Wars

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops