GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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Kittens.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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boobs

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hi

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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