Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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minorities.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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