A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Penis.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Chuck Norris died.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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2

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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