A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. Why did the sheep die? A. I pushed it off a bridge

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

asd

thumb_up thumb_down -140

When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down +117

What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

thumb_up thumb_down

why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do people say? words.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why couldn't the Mexican get a job? because of the multiple racist jokes gave his ethnicity a bad name.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats bonged in and looks like milk? harry after some cani

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops