why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

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What do people say? words.

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What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

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asd

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? Because he was blind.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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what did the goat say to the shepherd? goats can't talk.

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Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

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What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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why couldn't the Mexican get a job? because of the multiple racist jokes gave his ethnicity a bad name.

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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Q. Why did the sheep die? A. I pushed it off a bridge

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm bored of this how about you?

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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why did the ginger have no friends? he was wearing skechers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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