Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

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How many militant feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, one to change the bulb and another to suck my dick.

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What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

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What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

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Dinosaur!

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Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

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Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

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Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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Call me Mr. Flinstone, for that is my surname.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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