What's worse than the Holicost? Bitting into an apple and finding a worm

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the black men.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why Did The Girl Fall Off The Swing. IDK maybe she fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Horse tits

thumb_up thumb_down -159

A women leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was sally crying? she was sad

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch, he says, I did not see that bar there."

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

thumb_up thumb_down -53

why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down -257

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops