Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

Three men are walking and one falls over, he then gets up and continues walking.

What happened to the woman who was raped? She was mentally scarred for life and finds it hard to trust men.

why so serious? because your too serious.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I probably wouldn't.

what did say when he created the first black Wow you are the first non-white I made

If a tree falls on a woman, and there's no one around to hear it, what was a tree doing in the kitchen?

A penguin bikes to a bakery, the baker asks him "what kind of bread do you want?" Penguin replies "it doesn't matter, im biking"

What's the difference between a male dog and a female? One is a bitch. There are numerous other differences.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I am homeless, Can I have some food?

Why did Sally have a bad vacation? Sally was shot at by a sniper.

You hear a big Boom, and run in, and see a shattered toilet, and a very BIG dying woman, on the floor next to it.

why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

why did my girlfriend get pregnet? i didn's use a condom, and my semen entered her long muscular tube, also known as a vagina.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? A healthy, balanced diet consisting of all food groups, unless they are vegetarian or vegan, hence they will not consume any meats or animal products.

1unno;njfjk

did you here the one about the disabled downs child dying? of course you didn't that would be a horrible joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was crossing the road it tripped on a rock. When it was getting back up, a bus went through a stop sign and ran it over. After suffering for 3 weeks in an animal hospital, the chicken died.

The song Friday Rules!

hi iggy

What did the clown say to the other clown? I was not present at this conversation, and therefore I was not able to catch what they were saying

what did the asian father say to his son after seeing he got a B- in math? "There's small room for improvement but overall you did a great job son."

What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...