Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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