Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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God is religiously proven to be real

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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A black succeeds

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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Jasper sucks.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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PENIS

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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I can't think of a joke!

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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