Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +51

what did the duck say to the dog. quack

thumb_up thumb_down +49

You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops