KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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A black succeeds

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops