Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

thumb_up thumb_down -84

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

...Jack Vale

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

thumb_up thumb_down +43

nice shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The geese of Growmore

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why....... Because.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

nbjhfghl

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops