What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

thumb_up thumb_down +69

ur mother

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops