Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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