give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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