what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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