Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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