Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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