Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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