What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Cripples are lame.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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