Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Yes

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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