What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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knock knock Goodbye

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Death by kayak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops