A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops