What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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