my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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