mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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