Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops