What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops