What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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