I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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