knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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