Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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