What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

69.

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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