What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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A gay man watches football.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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