Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Why? Because.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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like if your cool

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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