Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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NEVER

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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