A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops