You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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