Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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