I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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