A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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