So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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i'm hard

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops