What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Hey Shea

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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