Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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the WNBA.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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