How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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