Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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