All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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this website is a bad joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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