Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

My spelling is horrible

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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