EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

thumb_up thumb_down -19

HELLO EVERYONE

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops