What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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