A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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