What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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I? Everett

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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