Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops