Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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