Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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