Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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