How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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