A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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