What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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John Cena for president

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops