What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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