whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops