How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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