whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops