when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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America

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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This is an anti-joke.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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