Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops