Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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school homewrok

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops