One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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