Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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a man checks his mypsace

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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