What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

A baby seal walks into a club.

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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