what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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