Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Stop. Seriously stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops