How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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I am a mime

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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