What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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