Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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