Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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