What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Half life 3 confirmed

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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