How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

13 =B you just learned something

thumb_up thumb_down -4

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops