Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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