- Anti Joke

i'm hard

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

9/11 my birthday

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was _3_ my dog when a pornstar named (1) _(2)_ asked me how many times I can _(3) myself. I said _(5)_ times and the juice that came out of me was (4)___."

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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