What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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