Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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