Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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womens rights

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops