Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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