what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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