Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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