What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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Denard Robinson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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