What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Whats gay, has a nice ass, and can such a mad dick? Everyone at LNS, including me, Glenn. Just kidding I like bitches.

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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AIDS

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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I'm homeless.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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