What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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