There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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hi

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops