Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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