Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

What is my name? I dont know

Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

hi jonny

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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