What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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