Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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