A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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