What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

Anti - Jokes. com

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

Chuck Norris.

Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...