If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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