What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Lol you respond here goood one AAANDEEERS TEN MG PER PILL Asswhipe! Besides friends call me Black Metal, you can call me Nero the avenger. Line kinda broke up with you first, you think she would send you a picture with my finger on her... cough... AND THINK YOU WOULD STILL STIck aROUND WITH HER? Id be more... well glad for your mothers sake, btw, she got me flowers, I wont tell the rest, but she got me another pic... Okay ill tell the rest then, first pic is my fingas, the other is my limpo in her mouth... The third is the funny doctor which caught us and wanted all three of us to be on the pic... Aww, no really man, you had a gem, we where good friends before me and Line, but she did not want to leave before she got me flowers... Aww... Ooooh... Oh! Well not yet but you get the picutre. I got ur message, sure im high as a kite, but I know what im doing if you can "picture" what I mean... Dont tell your mom btw, I want to surprise her, (reverse psychology) hmm, that did I write that? Anyway, how is your sister doing? I dont think she gives those strangely long hugs to anyone but me, and she laughed wen i got a boner... NERO, never call me, never ever call Me black, besides its either Mr.Black, oor black metla you rat! VALIUM? SERIOUSLY? Ill get that test extended you know... Because POISONING!

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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