A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Ily bae

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

Then none of us want to be right.

hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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