What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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