What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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