Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

What's upside down? umop apisdn

Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

anti jokes are really funny

knock knock come in

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...