How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The chickens have become self-aware!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops