How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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why does column have a letter n?

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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A Serbian Film

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops