Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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