Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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My spelling is horrible

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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My cat just died.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Pain Olympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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