Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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