What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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