if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

whats brown and sticky? Doody

What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

George W. Bush

autistic kids rock

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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