A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

antonio has a penis head.lol

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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