How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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