How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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womens rights.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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