Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops