What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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can you touch your toes? no

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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