A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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