You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops