The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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