How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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What's just not right? Left

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops