A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops