se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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