what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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