A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Poop

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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