Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

thumb_up thumb_down -18

steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

thumb_up thumb_down -18

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

thumb_up thumb_down -18

This is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops