How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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A dog was barking at a tree

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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how much fish could a chicken

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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