How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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