Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

quantum physics?

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

Chris Bosh's neck

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

outside your comfort zone

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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