Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops