Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down

whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the cat black it was a black cat

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

thumb_up thumb_down

What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

thumb_up thumb_down

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down

L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops