Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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95556

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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My mom

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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