What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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AIDS

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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