why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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