An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Im taking a shit right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops