why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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your so fat. your fat!

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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