Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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