what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops