A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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roses are red poo is poo

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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