This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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