What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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