did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

knock knock Dave's not here.

Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...