What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops