(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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My spelling is horrible

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Weaner

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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