What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Brain fart

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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