KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops