whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

My jeans

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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