How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

thumb_up thumb_down -31

like if your cool

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

thumb_up thumb_down -33

GOODJESUSLORDALMIGHTY dis boy myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i can't even................ fhrejhklgfjgtedlfcgrbh http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=231&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=6-GniQ6ct-j0HM:&imgrefurl=http://katiespilling.blogspot.com/&docid=6oY2cEt2vFEq0M&imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7nKXEePj87o/T5dBnSfhaBI/AAAAAAAAAHw/RNSE68GzbjU/s1600/Harry%252BStyles%252Bboy%252Bband%252BOne%252BDirection%252Barrives%252B1Tg3l2FYklYl.jpg&w=396&h=594&ei=2Y7HT6jnL4e69QSK2oW5Dw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=244&vpy=12&dur=543&hovh=160&hovw=106&tx=72&ty=122&sig=110416686013590693091&page=18&tbnh=160&tbnw=106&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:231,i:105

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops