What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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