Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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