whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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Burp

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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rarw

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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