If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Knock Knock Come in

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops