Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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