Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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what's black? a lot of things.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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