You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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