Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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